Five Tips to Make Delivering Difficult Feedback Less Difficult
Giving positive feedback is something we all love to do. I mean, why wouldn’t we? It makes everyone feel good! But what about the not-so-positive feedback—the feedback that may not leave people feeling as good… Delivering that feedback is certainly far from anyone’s list of favorite things to do.
While delivering difficult or negative feedback is something we would all like to avoid, it is a very necessary part of leadership and employee development.
While delivering difficult or negative feedback is something we would all like to avoid, it is a very necessary part of leadership and employee development. Negative feedback helps individuals identify potential growth opportunities, areas of misunderstanding, and where there may be misalignment between intention and perception. The individual can then use this information to better grow and improve. Below are five tips for how to deliver difficult feedback well and increase its effectiveness (making the difficulty of having to deliver it and having to hear it all the more worthwhile).
Keep it constructive. When delivering negative feedback, it is important to help the recipient understand why that feedback is important. Provide clear examples of how certain behaviors may have impacted their performance at work. If you do not have a clear example of the behavior you’re referring to or how that ties into their performance, you may want to reconsider whether now is the time to deliver such feedback or whether such feedback is appropriate. Specific examples will help to make the feedback hard to ignore or deny and will also provide helpful context regarding the situation in which the behavior occurred.
Ask their thoughts. In order to help reduce defensiveness while also enhancing self-reflection, it is important to ask the individual what they think about the feedback they received. How do they feel about hearing the feedback? Do they think it is an accurate representation of their behavior or the situation? Why do they think someone may have perceived their behavior or actions in this way? Do they remember that situation and how they felt at the time? By asking their thoughts and helping them process the feedback, you increase their receptiveness to it and help to build a collaborative discussion. Getting their thoughts might also help you as a leader better understand your staff member and how they interpret certain situations and behaviors.
Identify potential solutions. Once you have explored the feedback with the individual, work with them to identify some actions steps to improve the behaviors that led to the feedback. These action steps should be simple and specific. Depending on the feedback that was received, it may be something that cannot be addressed in one easy step. Work on small steps that will lead to a larger change over time in order to help make the change more sustainable.
Acknowledge improvement. It’s important to celebrate wins and acknowledge improvements when you see them—whether big or small. Acknowledging their efforts to improve will help encourage the individual to maintain their forward progress. Verbally thank the individual when you see them taking the action steps you discussed. Be specific to the changes you’ve witnessed and the impact those behaviors have had on their performance.
Follow up. Some changes are hard to make, so it’s important to show some patience if the individual doesn’t make the changes right away or has some momentary slip-ups. Check-in with them periodically on how things are going, whether new strategies may be needed, and to see if any additional support is needed to help them continue in their progress.
It’s important to provide the feedback in a straightforward and honest manner. Instead of watering the feedback down by sandwiching it between two positives, follow the above tips to provide straightforward constructive feedback that stays solution focused. I hope these tips will help you feel more confident in how to deliver difficult feedback in a more effective and beneficial manner. If you have any questions on how provide constructive feedback (or tips for how to gather open and honest feedback) feel free to reach out!