When Conflict Arises - Five Tips to Help You More Effectively Handle Conflict
Interpersonal conflict is an inevitable truth when dealing with teams of people of various opinions, backgrounds, and personalities. It’s even more likely to occur when these individuals are working closely together in a busy and stressful environment. In fact, it’s generally not a question of whether conflict will arise, but when it will arise. Despite the common occurrence of conflict in organizations, many leaders and employees are still unsure of how to handle it in a professional and constructive manner and often attempt to avoid it altogether. Unfortunately, conflict generally does not go away on its own, but instead, it can fester and grow over time until it becomes much bigger than the original issue. Conflict can serve as a toxic catalyst for increased negativity, decreased performance, and team dysfunction. As the conflict grows and becomes more ingrained, it may begin to involve more people and become even more difficult to address. Therefore, it is very important that conflict be dealt with early on. Below are five critical tips to help address conflict in a constructive, effective, and positive manner.
Unfortunately, conflict generally does not go away on its own, but instead, it can fester and grow over time until it becomes much bigger than the original issue.
Assume positive intent. This is something we talk about a lot with our clients as a critical factor for developing a successful team. As individuals, we often find ourselves making assumptions about the behavior of others based on our own limited perspective that is lacking the full context of a given situation. For example, people in a workplace may get upset about someone who is always late or leaves early, or perhaps someone who seems to be taking a lot of vacation time. We can easily make assumptions about these behaviors—that these individuals are obviously less committed to the organization, don’t respect others’ time, or don’t have a good work ethic. However, it may be that they have an agreement with their manager to leave early to pick up their kids from school and finish their work at home, or they’re late because they’re frequently working until the early morning hours to finish their projects, or they’re taking days off because they’re taking care of a sick family member or dealing with health issues themselves. While it is easy to make quick assumptions, they are often incorrect and detrimental. The same thing goes for when we receive an email or hear a comment that sounds abrasive or curt. Instead of assuming negative motives, we should always seek to assume positive intent—that this person is not trying to take advantage of the organization or trying to be abrasive. By doing so we leave room for an alternative explanation and increased understanding. Assuming positive intent helps stop a potential conflict before it even starts.
Communicate directly. While e-mail is an excellent tool that has enhanced the ease and flexibility of communication, it is not without its challenges. The biggest challenge email creates is the lack of non-verbal cues, such as body language and tone, that impact our interpretation. Without these additional cues, miscommunication and misunderstandings are far more likely to occur. As a result, when conflict is addressed through email it is likely to be exasperated because individuals are more likely to read the email with a negative tone that may have never been intended. Therefore, it is best to speak face to face to ensure no messages are being misinterpreted.
Find common ground. In the workplace, and life in general, we will always run into individuals who are very different from ourselves. When conflict arises, the parties involved often envision themselves as two opposing sides fighting for two very different things. It is unlikely that a resolution can be reached if this perspective continues. By identifying common ground, the idea of two opposing sides is dismantled and resolution becomes possible. This common ground may be a shared passion for the organization and its mission, the desire to keep working at the organization, and ultimately the desire to feel good at work and contribute to their full potential. Once individuals realize their conflict may be impacting the success of the organization or team and their ability to enjoy going to work each day, they will be more motivated to find a solution.
Stay solution focused. Once individuals are motivated to find a solution it’s important they remain focused. It is easy to fall back into the pattern of conflict by fighting to have your voice heard or arguing solely for your own perspective. Being solution focused means removing the fight for self and the defensiveness that goes along with it. It requires listening to the perspective of others, trying to understand why they may feel the way they do, and finding a unified solution that helps address the needs of both parties. A solution will never be one-sided.
Utilize a neutral third party. If a solution cannot be reached on their own, utilizing a neutral third party to help facilitate the conversation may be a beneficial option. This individual can either be someone from within the organization or a conflict mediator from outside the organization. If a neutral third party is used, it is important that the individuals involved in the conflict all accept the third party as being neutral. If one side believes that the third party is unable to be completely neutral, this is likely to undermine the entire process. This third-party individual should allow both sides time to share their perspective without being interrupted and then facilitate a back and forth conversation. The third party is not meant to resolve the conflict for the parties involved but to help facilitate the conversation so forward progress can be made.
It is important that conflict within the organization is dealt with head on so it does not fester and grow. These tips can be used to help shape conflict resolution policies within your organization and to think about how you yourself approach conflict. C1C has many services we provide to help improve communication and clarity within an organization that can help reduce the likelihood of conflict situations. If you have any questions about how you can improve relationships and reduce conflict in your organization, feel free to reach out!