Three Recommendations for Forming Authentic Connections
Maintaining a network of connections is always important in the business world no matter where you fit into an organization. These connections may be future employers, employees, collaborators, partners, or clients. While the characteristics of networks may vary (e.g., global/local, first degree/nth degree, professional/social, etc.), the network itself is bound to be useful to you. However, aiming to create a network that works only for you yields a counterproductive approach to networking which, in reality, relies heavily on authentic connections that work for both individuals involved. While we all know it is important to attend networking events, many begin to wonder, “How do I stand out?” However, this is the wrong question. Trying to stand out when forming connections often results in overstepping which can be detrimental to your personal network. To avoid this, networkers should reframe their goal by asking “How can I form authentic connections and form a network where I can help others?” To answer this question and reduce the stress of networking, Category One Consulting has three recommendations.
Maintaining a network of connections is always important in the business world no matter where you fit into an organization.
Form one authentic connection over several inauthentic connections. A mistake many people make is cutting a conversation short after formalities are exchanged as they want to shake hands with as many people as they can. Unfortunately, this does not make you memorable, and it does not form an authentic connection. An authentic connection requires information about interests, needs, and skills of both individuals to be swapped. By sharing this information, the goal becomes building a network that is mutually beneficial. If a current need exists or a future need arises, one or both individuals can help each other. This information can be tricky to exchange without bragging, which is where the next recommendation comes into play.
Make the conversation inquisitive in nature. One of the worst situations that occurs in conversations and in networking is when both individuals spend the entire interaction thinking about their own words, rather than thinking about the information gathered from the other individual’s responses. Both our experience as well as scientific literature supports a solution to this problem. While there are at least two individuals involved, you cannot rely on the second individual to make the interaction worthwhile. Instead, change the approach and guide conversations. Make both individuals mentally check in by switching from a statement approach focused on talking about yourself to an inquisitive approach by asking about the other individual in the interaction.
Ask questions you can answer about yourself. At this point you have learned, but you have not shared. However, due to conversational reciprocity, the second individual will often turn the conversation to ask about you. Often, this question is as simple as, “How about you?” This means if you ask questions you want to be asked, then you will likely get an opportunity to share the same valuable information as if you just told them from the beginning. The major distinguishing factor here is how the information is received. Information from the reciprocated inquisitive approach is received better as the second individual will remain a more captivated audience out of reciprocity, if not genuine interest. Furthermore, when answering a direct question, it is easier to explain your interests, needs, and skills without bragging or complaining.
Concluding Remarks: Come to networking events prepared. Forming authentic connections can be simplified by utilizing the techniques listed previously; however, effectively executing these techniques is not always simple. To ensure success we recommend two tips. First, show up to every networking event prepared with knowledge of who will be there and what questions you will ask. In determining these questions, the second tip comes into play. Prepare concise but complete statements about your (or your organization’s) interests, needs, and skills. While preparing these statements, your questions should naturally formulate. With a little preparation and a few shifts in structuring conversations’ true authentic connections that benefit you and others in your network become possible and probable.
If you would like to discuss forming authentic connections further, or have questions about any of the recommendations, feel free to reach out!